ok imo blake and sun were literally not friends until v5, and they weren’t like TRUE friends until they finally said goodbye in the first ep of this volume. i think they just really liked the idea of each other; blake wanted a faunus who could understand her and what she was going through, and sun was basically like, oh a beautiful girl who’s also a faunus, sweet. but then he COULDN’T understand blake at all, she had so much history and trauma and depth to her that he genuinely couldn’t relate to, and blake found herself consistently disappointed by him because of that; she rarely ever wants sun actually around. i think from v1-v3 it was just them being like “oh, this would’ve been nice but something about it is wrong,” and that’s why they never actually got any farther than they did. the final straw re: blake/sun there was early in v4 when he completely misinterpreted why she ran. i don’t think blake could ever really come back from that.
but i think during the course of v4 and ESPECIALLY v5, his intentions were good. he completely separated his romantic feelings from the tasks they were trying to accomplish; he never acted like blake owed him anything for what he’d done for her. he genuinely just wanted to push her forward, stop her from running away from her problems entirely because he knew it wouldn’t solve anything, and they couldn’t sit around while the problems just got worse and worse. and by the end, she recognizes that, recognizes what he did was necessary even if he didn’t originally go about it the right way. and likewise, he recognizes his feelings have no place with her here and lets it go, cementing their friendship. was sun an idiot a lot of the time? absolutely. were his intentions good? absolutely. does that excuse every single weird thing he did? not at all, but that also doesn’t invalidate the fact that they ended up where they needed to be and that IS worth something. that’s my take anyway!
Worked on this girl for 9 months. Now this new music video comes out and she’s immensely popular, arguably one of the most popular characters in the LoL universe.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m really glad she’s a huge hit, it’s super exciting to see so many people love the character design and the gameplay, and know that I contributed directly and significantly to the behind-the-scenes engineering that makes it all work. It’s validating.
But it’s also so fucking melancholy to know I did so much work and put in so much time for such a shitty company, run by shitty people, and the reward I got for it was unemployment.
I threw a lot into this character. I cried at work. I started getting panic attacks, which I’ve never gotten before. I developed persistent heart palpitations from the daily overwhelming stress and had to go to the hospital (this is true, seriously.) I basically dropped all my friends outside of work. My manager (and his manager!) lied to me constantly to keep me working. They said I was doing a great job but to keep it up. Don’t worry, it’s going to turn out great, and it’ll all be worth it in the end – recognition, a raise, probably a promotion in short order. They promised me the world. When she was finally finished, I didn’t even get to go to the release party, they just walked me out.
I remember a quote from my last day, it sticks out in my mind: “I know you realize this is really hard for me,” my manager said. Yes, in the end, when he awkwardly informed me I didn’t have my dream job anymore – or any job at all – and then stared back at my shell-shocked face, my thousand-yard stare, the only thing he felt was sorry for himself.
She launched with no major bugs and was considered a technical success. Doesn’t matter. Get the fuck out.
I don’t know how I feel. A weird sensation of pride and intense bitterness. I did a good job; at least, I think I did. Unfortunately, internal validation is the only kind I’m going to get.
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